Brian and Melissa

Earlier today I had a conversation with a friend of mine who studies a lot of Torah, Talmud, and is overall very well knowledgable about Judaism.

He asked me when the wedding was. Supposedly September 14 translates into the Jewish date of “ELUL 14.” He told me that that is actually a really good month to get married for a few reasons:

1) Elul looks like this in Hebrew:

As often is the case in Hebrew, if you take the letters that it spells (from right to left) and make an acronym, it can also spell “Ani Le’dodi Ve’dodi Li.” That is pretty much the standard phrase in a Jewish wedding, which means “I am to my beloved as my beloved is to me.” Pretty cool!

2) Supposedly getting married in the beginning half of the month is good luck.

3) There are 2 times in life where God is extra forgiving, and one of those 2 is under the Chuppah (at the marriage ceremony), and this is pretty cool since our marriage ceremony falls almost exactly 1 month before Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement).

This being said, I can’t believe it is 2 months away!!

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It’s Thursday, and by tomorrow we should have a detailed estimate on how much having our wedding at Steam Whistle is going to cost us. There is a scare that it is going to go beyond our budget, but we will wait and see. If that happens, we will find ways to cut certain things out instead of just switching to another venue.

There really are no good deals when it comes to picking a venue. Some venues are really high-end and charge through the nose, because they know their place in society. Then there is everyone else, all generally in the same price range, but all just have a different price structure. For instance, synagogues have very expensive food, but you get a lot of stuff thrown in, like linens, dishes, service, etc. At Steam Whistle, everything is separate, like a rental fee, catering company, so it can get expensive. But then you can pick and choose easier sometimes. We will see how much it is for sure tomorrow.

Tonight we met up with a rabbi that we both like (more or less). We still have to discuss it more, but he could be the one we choose to marry us. He’s reform Jewish, which I know our parents didn’t raise us as, but Melissa and I have been doing a lot of soul searching, and we are comfortable for what this guy stands for. The thing that is most important to us, an absolute must, is that a rabbi must stand for equal rights of a man and a woman. There must be nothing the man does that the woman doesn’t, and vice versa. And we love this, because it reflects our relationship structure exactly. Melissa and I are both very hard workers, are both passionate about what we do and who we are, we have separate bank accounts (and some joint ones), both have our own dreams, aspirations, and are both very independent when we want to be. Melissa cooks, and I do laundry and dishes. And sometimes we switch. We both clean. These are just a few examples, and together we know that our marriage will thrive because we are both equal, and are so open to each other about everything.

And we will look back on our wedding ceremony with great fondness that the person to marry us recognizes this first and foremost, and makes everyone understand that we are “Brian and Melissa.”

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