Brian and Melissa

Tonight is our rehearsal.  If this morning’s level of nervousness is any indication of how nervous i will be on our wedding day, then we are all in for an awesome treat. bleh.

It’s funny, I probably won’t be as nervous as I think. I just keep picturing this huge dress and all these people staring at me. But then if I start to single it out, like the people that are there, it doesn’t feel so bad. Like if I picture walking down the isle and there’s Amanda, or Guin, or whatever, then it feels fine.

Anyhoo, I haven’t slept… I slept for a couple hours, it was a terrible sleep. Brian stole my side and i had no room, it was really really annoying. This morning i’m breaking out in all sorts of pimples, which I think is hillarious considering i’ve probably only ever had like 5 pimples my whole life.

We were up until like 1:30am last night getting everything ready for the rehearsal today. TONS of alphabetized lists, place cards, table cards, etc… so much to do. But luckily we got it all done. Now we just have to remember to bring it with us today. I should probably actually be getting it all ready instead of typing this.

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7pm right now. By this time next week, i’ll have been married for one hour.

So we’ve reached a new level of nervousness. Brian didn’t get out of bed today, not because he was sleeping, but he was just too nervous. He stayed there till like 12:30, till i went upstairs to take a bath. And he’s like “I can’t get out of bed i’m too nervous”. So we went back to sleep for an hour, and then I made him get out to go get breakfast. It’s so bad. We’re like so super nervous, it’s crazy. Who doesn’t get out of bed!!

I haven’t slept in days, like ok I sleep a bit but then i’m up and want to throw up. But now i’ve reached a whole new level where I don’t want to throw up but i’m overcome with like insane stress, and nervousness, and I literally almost cry. Whenever it’s really silent, or whenever someone says “Hey 6 more days!” I lose it. I can’t handle it.

I totally wanna get married though! I just can’t handle doing it in front of 150 people. And like, there’s so much that could go wrong, which freaks me out too.

Oh so on Friday my worked threw me a surprise bachelorette party. hhaha omg it was so amazing. I love my office and all the people I work with. I literally invited as many of them as I could to the wedding, because I love them. They keep me entertained, and they’ve been listening to me bitch for like 8 months now, without once telling me to shut up. I’m sure if I didn’t have them to bitch to, this whole thing would have been much different and I would have turned into a bigger bitch than I already appear to be.

As soon as someone sends me the bachelorette pics, i’ll post the appropriate ones.

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I just got back from my dress fitting… I love my dress. I love it. It’s way bigger and more elaborate than I ever imagined anything I wanted, but as soon as I put it on I loved it. It’s looks really nice in white, I hadn’t seen it in white because the one I tried on originally was cream colour or something.. oh it was Ivory. Yeah so it was all sketchy when I chose white cuz no one knew what it was gonna look like,but turns out it’s really nice. And thankfully I am going to Vegas next weekend to work on the strapless dress tan.

I go back there in two weeks for my real fitting, so I’ve been told I need to have my shoes by then. So i’m gonna be on a hardcore hunt for shoes. I’m sure i’ll find something in Vegas. There shouldn’t be too many alterations to the dress anyways, it fits me really nicely.

Anyways, i’m a disgusting fat pig… so I realized today. So like when we got engaged everyone was like omg now you need to diet!! And i’m like yeah yeah whatever, I don’t care. I’m not *that* fat… so whatever, I didn’t care… plus I wanna look like what I usually look like! Anyway, I tried on the dress and it looks amazing, but I also realized how fat I really was! DISGUSTING AND UNACCEPTABLE!! So (And i’m sure EVERY SINGLE PERSON DOES AND SAYS THIS) i’m gonna join a gym tomorrow. It’s not out of the ordinary, I was always part of a gym… but since we moved I haven’t been. So tomorrow I’m gonna try and join one near work, so I can go at lunch or before work or after or whatever. Like I just wanna be toned more in my dress… like I think it looks good, but I look super fat… so I think in two months I can probably hopefully if I try really effin hard, I can lose a tiny bit of weight. We’ll see.

eeeeeee! I can’t wait! It’s like two months away!! We printed a sample of our invitation today.. finally! You don’t even know how many printers we had to go to until we found this one who would do it. I can’t say much because I don’t wanna give away what they look like, but like it was just really hard trying to find someone. I think I went and called at least 10-20 different printers, and NOT ONE OF THEM could do it. Thankfully I work in a wicked agency with amazing designers who gave me tips on how to get these printed.

Hmm, what else.. oh In August my parents are taking us out to dinner for like a celebration thing. I think originally my mom was gonna do a shower for me, but it got late and it was a lot of planning, and I told her I didn’t need that, and she can do something small if she really wants to. So she’s taking us to dinner, which is nice.

Ok, that’s it! Eeeeee! High Tea with the Bridesmaids this weekend (thanks guys!!!!!!), then Vegas next weekend, then Dress Fitting the weekend after, then we’re throwing a family BBQ, then we have tix to go see a show the weekend after, then bachelorette party, then bridal shower, then a friend’s wedding, then brian’s bachelor party, and then his aufreef and then… then… THE WEDDING. Like every weekend is booked until the wedding, which means it’s almost here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH! SO EXCITED AND NERVOUS ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!

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